Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Yeah. Not my best idea. But I'm hoping for the best . And by best, I mean not jail
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
A+ Viking dick
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
Randomize
