YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
i ate a whole tub of butter with my hands last night. don't tell me about rock bottom
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Dude, I came home and you were passed out halfway through the front door in your Minnie Mouse outfit... with a beer still in hand
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
