All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
Whyyyyy do my fingers smell like Chinese food.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
i finally found my car by the hideout. it was parked in an employee only parking space with a torn up piece of paper in the back window with the word employee scribbled on it.
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Afraid I'm about to get arrested. Complicated situation but not a joke. If I do not text again that all is clear within 90 minutes kindly begin bail process. I have the cash to repay as soon as I get home. Details later.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Was my shirt on fire at any point last night? Because I'm fairly sure my shirt was on fire.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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