Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I just saw a pair of panties stretched over a fire hydrant on campus... I need to get the fuck out of this town
everyday i am more and more thankful i can still check the no box for "have you ever been convicted of a felony?" on applications
I miss the days when all my weekends consisted of were 69 and crunchwraps
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Remind me to tell you about this weekend with them. It was the least fun I have ever had drinking. And I have thrown up pork and beer through my nose on the side of the freeway.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Randomize
