After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
all we ever talk about is how much i like your dick or my drug problem.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
