Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
Yeah man i woke up and only had a Jimmy John's wrapper covering myself..
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
He sends me the same inspirational quote quotos that my grandma does. I no longer want to tap that.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
