Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
It was some time between the gurgles of her blowing me to us throwing up in the same bucket afterwards that I realized we would be doing this a lot.
I've never had a better reason to do blow of a Pittsburgh strippers ass than to try and keep pace with my dad.
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
After the bar we stopped to Meijer where I found myself singing little mermaid while rubbing a pack of hotdogs on my face..
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Randomize
