I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
do you think they make care bear costumes for cats?
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
My life is over, I got a mugshot while wearing a shirt that said 'milf hunter'.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
