Yeah, I have to wait a few months then take a sample in, I asked the doctor if the sample could be wiped off my wife's back...i told her he said face only.
possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
she kept peeing on everything and yelling it was now her property.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
If she were to ever cheat on her husband, I'm positive I'm the the go to guy. Which flatters me and weirds me out at the same time.
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
He did a backflip because drugs
She blew me while I watched the jets game and the hardest thing was deciding what to focus on more
Randomize
