So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
she just refered to her hymen as "the mrs"
Was just practicing flip cup with my NyQuil cup...
The crowning achievement of my weekend was hooking up with someone I'm at least facebook friends with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I remember your 21st ending with me driving you home while you insisted making bicycle signals out the car window.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Just try and act like you're sober
I can't I snorted an anti depressant and he's pouring me tequila shots
Randomize