3:40 am: you never wrote back on my facebook wall
my FASA form asked what i spent the majority of my 08 earnings on, im tempted to put "booze, blow, & blunts"
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Now that we both have boys can we make up games that objectify them as sex toys?
This ER has an aquarium in it!!!
I feel like I'm laying on a pillow cloud. With little baby angel fingers between me and the cloud lifting me up. Singing hymns in my ear.
The feeling I get when I hear beer bottles clinking must be what children feel when they hear sleigh bells on Christmas Eve
Sailor Jerry came over for the evening. It was a magical evening. I didn't even get puke in the house.
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
