All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
She had her underwear around her neck. No one can tell me i'm a slut now.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
We play this game where we catch up on what we missed over five years of not talking to eachother, then we have sex like nothing ever happened.
i think i just encouraged him to glue googly eyes to my boobs
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Sext me about skeletons
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
