We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
so exactly what does one wear to an abortion clinic?
they shut off the water. shaving my legs with soda. that desperate.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Just got assigned a beer bong as hw in fluids to demonstrate the inverse of pascals principle. I love this prof
My sister texted me to say she just found a corn on the cob in her purse from last night. You need to party with us more.
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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