The only reason why I invited him to my party was because he is suicidal.
i was just singing like a virgin out loud my mom told me to stop kidding myself
still doesn't change the fact you were dunking your sock in the toilet.
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
My addiction to golf is getting out of hand....I just caught myself swinging my dick like a putter while peeing.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
while i am personally glad that we met...i feel like for society as a whole it was a bad thing
I can't believe I forgot to wish you a happy 13 week-iversary of the time you raw-dogged a rando. Only two days late, so it still counts. And since your 14 weeks is coming up, you should know that at 14 weeks your baby can squint, frown, grimace, pee, and possibly suck his/her/their/zir thumb!
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
I either have a problem or a really good solution... I just ordered my homecoming dress off of a website that sells forplay outfits.
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