She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Dude. The walls are totally staring at me right now. I told you this was a bad idea.
Note to self: the judgement that occurs when unrolling your last 5 which was used to snort drugs the night before, to pay for alcohol before noon on a Monday is worth just sucking it up and taking an overdraft fee.
Wait a min, you had drugs last night?!
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
you ran up to the police and said "fuck the police shit we living in hell ". Then you dropped your Margarita and said "Darby Out" lol
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
At some point, I’d like to pretend that his penis is a popsicle.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
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