Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I'm in Starbucks carrying the boxes wine and the hubcap. So many judging looks.
He ordered three small pizzas while I was giving him head.
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
...and that is the first time I've ever wished fewer naked women on someone I like.
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
He sent me a dick pic, and it had smeared lipstick on it. So I sent him the pic of my tit with the hickey ring your brother gave me.
How drunk are you?
Completed.
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
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