you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Ironically her ferret's toys look like her sex toys.....this is a whole new level of kinky for me
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
I masterbate to the thought of you. You totally aren't just a booty call.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
