I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
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