woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
Welp, dad and I drunkenly sang Christmas carols until the police told us to stop. I vote Xmas eve a success
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
Randomize
