adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
hot pretzels for dinner, snacks, and now breakfast...oh to be a poor college student...everyday is like a carnival.
Dude, she uses Old Spice. It smelled like I was eating out my grandfather.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
I am not apologizing for rubbing my balls on your leg...that is a risk you take when you come out to the bar with me
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
he got all sad that i was going to fuck his roommate, so i just asked him if it would make him feel better if I let him motor boat me. i am such a saint.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
Look, I know why you're asking me, but just because I'm gay does not make me a wiki on butt sex. Ask a doctor or you know, the internet like everyone else.
Randomize
