Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
I have a way to get him back. you're going to have to take one for the team and make a visit to the health department. you in?
I saw pigeons eating ur dried up puke today. Last night was fucking great
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
him and the cab driver we buy e from got into a fist fight, about which show is better, futurama or family guy.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
Can't beat it when the local bar sends you off with a loaf of bread on the way out the door.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
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