I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
We had unprotected sex and she's eating life cereal for breakfast. The universe is telling me get the plan b for her
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I will never swim in a flooded basement again..
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
Randomize
