Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Oh shit, I think we need to get you a hobby that doesn't include penises
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
You kept asking the bartender if you could "buy a dollar".
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
