i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
What happened?....
He lifted up the blanket, and whispered "Don't do it" to his sperm....
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
And on the way out from Applebee's he tried to take the basket of toothpicks claiming he was using them as a tax write off. Last time I babysit my dad on thirsty Thursday.
Randomize
