that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Just put my hand under my pillow and found a peach ring. Lat night just came rushing back.
I just remember going to take a piss and looking down on the floor and thinking "that looks comfortable" and then I was out.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Yea I almost drowned giving a BJ in the shower once
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
He smacked my ass so hard my ass cheek looks like Wilson from Cast Away
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
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