I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
We had a race to see who could chug their vodka tonic faster. College doesn't seem to be working for me... I'm getting exponentially dumber
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
i have to go- we're throwing the dummy from the balcony again
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
i told you that I felt like my feet were melting into the ground and you starting blowing on them to put out the "invisible fire". thanks friend.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
Randomize
