I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
I was literally just a half conscious dildo.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Still at home. Videotaping hamsters.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN THE FIRST VISITOR TO CHRISTMASLAND
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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