If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
soo... how was my night?
Last night I had a dream that a man with an ice cream body entered a bicycle throwing contest and won.
Randomize
