you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
I told him he didn't want "flip-flop extraction" on his medical history.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
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