I woke up this morning and "The Wood" was on tv. Touche TBS, touche.
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
I blacked out after running into my soc TA in the beer garden. came to dancing on the speakers at major lazer and making out with said TA.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
My genitals don't want beer. They want to not feel like they wandered into a hornet's nest.
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
How does the curb feel today?
It's stronger than my elbow. But I found my lighter while I was down there.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Randomize
