Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
btw i have an angry voicemail of you yelling at me to get you a sandwich or die.
You probably don't remember this but last night I bought you a lap dance from a stripper that had nipples that looked like runny eggs....you're welcome.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
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