we went to a bar last night, drank beer in plastic cups. I took pics w/a random kid i pulled into a photobooth & i have easy mac in my purse. I belong here.
she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I'm sitting the next couple hours out. Puking in a potted plant really put shit into perspective for me.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
The acoustics in my bra are fantastic.
I only got lap dances from the ugliest strippers, i couldnt stop myself from laughing the entire time.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
I want to fling myself into the sun
Why do I have a separate credit card just for booze? Because I saved enough points so Saturday we are flying to Denver to smoke legal weed and fly back in the same day.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
