First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
IF CHARLIE SCHEEN CAN DO IT I CAN DO IT IM A PROFESSONAL
It was like getting head from an anaconda
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
Last I saw him was around 10 this morning. He was passed out on the porch with his head under the barbeque cover and there were cups of orange juice around him as well as loose tobacco spread everywhere. Good luck getting a hold of him.
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
Hey buddy, turns out those were the PB&shroomwiches, soooo you may want to reconsider dinner with your girlfriends family tonight...
Sitting beside a stoned cat on the kitchen floor eating cheesecake with my hands...just a struggle
He literally asked permission to hit on me
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