you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
dude my grandma just called my dealer. How does this shit happen to me
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
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