I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I love the fact that my Mom has been present at 90% of my drug deals.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
"can you come pick me up from the ikea parking garage i think i slept here"
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
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