It's pretty bad when the convenient store clerk can tell you that you're earlier than usual for visiting the store.
but instead of smelling like hand cream and homemade cookies, she smells like a yeast infection.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
if your not going to answer your phone this is just going to be an embarrassment tomorrow
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
i ended up playing naked naked monopoly and hangman with my dealer. i really love my life.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
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