I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Jamie's fucking a senior citizen and I'm eating chips and salsa in the shower at 2am, so whatever you're doing it can't be worse.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
I just found a nug casually in my room under my duffel bag. Is this a sign I need help?
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
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