Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
i was sitting in the back of a squad car completely stoned watching airplanes take off
I'm disease and pregnancy free. This is an Easter for the books!
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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