I'm ready for my liver to be the last casualty of 2009
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
Also, just almost microwaved cereal. Thank god mom is here to stop me.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
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