So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
Apparently Chef Boyardee is the only guy I'm taking home tonight.
how the FUCK am I supposed to macarena while doubble fisting?
My bracket is officially just a list of teams that lost.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
You know you have hit the best years of your life when you enlist the 5 year old to be ball boy during beer pong and pay him with candy you stole from Walgreens
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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