Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
So I vaguely remember making out with you this morning, I think you were on a date?
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
So, sleeping with all of my Vicodin in my bra because I knew she'd be searching my room for drugs tonight. I'LL SHOW HER.
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
You literally spelled every word wrong or with numbers except for "drunk", which you used all caps for.
I felt the need to accentuate it....
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Im gonna go lick parts of my apartment. Good night and be ever vigilant, you never know when I'm coming to epoxy your hand to you nipple.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
The last time I saw you, you were giving the stripper a lap dance.
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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