So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
And if not, hey- I've never had a restraining order before, so that will be cool
It could be our claim to fame
Done. I'll pack a cooler.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
Yes, you can go into Petsmart drunk but the cats awaiting adoption don't appreciate the soft pretzels squeezed through their cages.
premonition: im going to wake up covered in mashed potatoes
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Swear to god, somebody just drove by with mickey mouse in their passenger seat and he waved at me.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
Randomize
