my mom heard me say 'don't squirt that at me' while me & him were in my room. She then decided to call my aunt and complain to her that she has the sluttiest daughter in town. she refused to believe me when i told her i was talking about gel.
I'm with your mom on this one.
She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
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