I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Sex should be hot, sweaty, messy, and a little painful. At no point should it involve tiny rocks
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Who is Katie and why do we have her birthday cake?
Im playing lifeguard in my own bathroom. How's ur night?
The guy I woke up with is wearing the same nailpolish as me...I need to stop drinking
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
Randomize
