I just peed or puked all or around my parjibgb lot.
parking. I am not drunk
forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I think I sprained my soul last night
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Randomize
