dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Why am I not blowing coke off your ass at my apartment?
I threw up vodka and borscht. I'm done with life...I threw this up in a McDonald's bathroom btw.
Also this just in, I think you could see my sequins underwear that say unwrap me through my leggings all day while I hung out with his family
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Just cuz you've got the biggest dick I've ever seen doesn't mean u can wake me up at 2 am
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
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