I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Resolution for 2011: blow jobs are a privilege, not a right.
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
She found my wedding ring, sallowed it and wished me good luck explaining it to my wife before walking out. Now what?
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
The other night he asked if I had a condom and I said I had an IUD. and he goes OMG A BOMB?
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
