Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
BABIES FOR EVERYONE. I'd be like Oprah except with babies
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
We tried to play tennis but after about 15 minutes we gave up and fucked against the fence. Woulda been a cute third date so of course I had to ruin it.
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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