just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
If you're still on campus there's a jack and coke in the bathroom of fondren science Bldg. Too strong to bring to class.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
The best part of tonight is drunk commenting on my moms pic about how birds just want to give you diseases and pluck out your eyes
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
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