I tried making the sex a little better this time so right before I blew I yelled "ready or not here I come!"
My therapist says she wants to work on my 'trust issues'. I think she's found the cash cow within.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
We hung out in the bathroom the whole time and talked about sex and watched some girl pee. If you don't believe I was there, check the bathtub for bread crust.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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