The professor just announced to the class that I talked to him in the bar on my birthday.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
At one point I was double fisting both beer & ice cream. I love public events in this town.
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
He sent me a pic and then I suffered dick amnesia about the rest of that
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
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