That's intense
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I did the walk of shame to church this morning.
hooker boots and all?
Yep. People looked at me like I was the prodigal daughter returning home. Full of sins but welcome anyway.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
When exactly does a bender just become a lifestyle?
Passing out on a toilet is not classy no matter what you're wearing. Not even a pea coat.
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Whenever someone said no you would yell "Die Motherfucker." Kind of like some twisted drinking game.
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Randomize
