is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
Did I show you my penis last night?
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Inquiring minds want to know if your Bf is circumcised
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
so I may or may not have had intense sex to mozart's greatest hits on vinyl... I don't know if I should be proud or just really disappointed in my nerdness
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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