I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come downstairs. Moms serving wine for breakfast again.
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I ate an entire popcorn ball before bed. I know that because there is popcorn stuck to my poncho. Also. I'm still drunk. Also. I made out with a 19 year old. Also. #barnparties
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Call me and get me out of this conversation NOW. My coworker is talking to me about her birds having sex again...
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
Free stuff before I even put his balls in my mouth like wow great start
how much of this shit do i need to take before i think its a good idea to set the house on fire and scream satanic mantras?
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Randomize