Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
she texted me out of nowhere. and I wanted to get drunk. like I didn't even have her new number until 6 hours ago and bam we were rolling around drinking cotton candy vodka from the bottle she had stuffed in a boot
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
I guess, all I remember was giving you road head the whole way there so you wouldn't fall asleep.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Why is there cereal literally EVERYWHERE?
It didn't follow directions.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Randomize
