All time low... just gave a strip tease to the theme song from Law&Order SVU.
You know it's an interesting night when you drunkenly scream at your boss, "You'd make a HORRIBLE OBGYN!! You're hands are ENORMOUS!"
there was a trapeze. enough said
I feel like I had a lobotomy last night. I blacked out. Did we try to stick my Penis in a beer bottle?
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Last night you found an onion ring in your fries and then you started singing "A Moment like this"
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
