Dub. In the bra. Dub in the bra.
That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I faked an abortion last night.
Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I'm still tasting pancake mix. I think this may actually be a serious medical problem...
Can I color on your dick again?
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I'm drunk still and I cried and now I'm watching Whitney Houston singing the national anthem and I'm crying more
Randomize
