these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
what is it about summer that misdirects my moral compass so much?
My roommate got wasted last night and went to the 24 hour Bally's Total Fitness at 3 A.M. He got back took his shirt off, made a protein shake, puked, asked me if he was almost as jacked as Ronnie Coleman then called ME gay before I could say anything and went to bed
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
New Mean Girls drinking game: Everytime someone says Africa or Math, chug.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
How are you feeling today?
Like Satan handed me a grenade and ass sandwich.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize