I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
"Hung over, tired and having a faint scent of some body butter and random pieces of glitter from a girl named gigi, almost arrested in drug bust, $40 Canadian in my pocket and all i got was this lousy Tshirt" shirts dont exist, but they need to
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
Dude give me 4 good reasons we shouldn't trade girlfriends tonight
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Look. I've got things to do today.. Will you hurry up and come over so I can give you some head and get my day started already
Outside
I'm sorry but the visual image of you suffocating on vagina is basically hysterical
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
