Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
Don't fret. That vag would have consumed a lesser man.
Just looked at my call log. I called Planned Parenthood at 3am.
I told the girl in his bed not to bleed on his sheets like the last one.
it's ok. you also told me I can feel free to vomit on your blow dryer sometime.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
You've slept with me you know how lazy I am in bed.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize
