I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Too many people are naked here for this to be normal.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Dude too much vodka. I think I just puked up my heart
That's what you get for taking that guy home. The god of sluttiness is frowning upon you.
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I lost the right to judge tonight
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
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